My Own WorLD~ Q(",Q)

Well. Just feel like blogging. Don’t mind my grammar and vocab. I’m bad at it. (>.<”) There are a lot of things in my head. I felt like just telling it out, but I don’t really know how to rearrange it into words and sentences. It just got mixed up, and I don’t really know how to start!

First of all things, I would love to talk about relationships. I’m no love-saint, but I would love to share MY experience and what I thought about love. To me love is all about toleration, tolerate, and more toleration. It’s like a test from Him to determine whether she is the right one for me and yes, after 5 years (going to be 6 years), we are still sitting for this so called “exam”, and we are not graded just yet. We are practically more than 2000 miles apart from each other, and we were 2 years apart, and are still apart from each other. Despite the distance between the two of us, we are still contacting each other, every night, talk to each other on Skype (thank god) although I can only see her for less than an hour per day.

The thing I don’t really understand is I actually had a friend, which is very close to me. He told me two months ago that he is going to get married and I was so freaking happy and excited! But one month after that, I actually see fights in the Facebook, both of them. When I actually asked him (my friend) what really had happened, he didn’t really explains, just telling me that he is tired of everything, and all this while he is been working so hard and all, for the sake of both of them. What I am trying to say is that since you are in such position, taking such big step, to actually settle down and get married, and then have your own family and own life, OMG…That is huge! I mean you have announced the date, you have announced the person and you are actually in a relationship for more than 5 years, I cannot imagine someone can actually tell those in one month! What is wrong with that? I don’t understand why people can break up so easily, and I don’t understand why people just can’t stay together for life. What is the reason for us saying “I do”, and what is the meaning of commitment? What is the use of being in a relationship if you think you are not ready or cannot even committed to it?! Why you must think that guys must do this, this, this, and why you must think girls should do that, that, and that?? Why guys always think that girls should just stay home and be a good house wife, get pregnant, take care of the child, take care of the house and get pregnant again, and then take care of the child again? Why girls always think that guys should be strong, handsome, rich, and all they have to do is sit down and do whatever they want, and tolerate with all your bitchiness? Hey! Guys can be a bitch, you know? And girls can work and earn you know? Wake up kids! You are in the 21st Century! If you think like that, go back to the STONE AGE and live like one! There are NO fairy tales, and that is the truth! Life goes on, and we have to work very hard to earn what we want.

Next will be the thing I hate and angry the most. I don’t really want to talk about it, but yeah. I am just pissed. I hate making empty promises, especially to my love ones, and being FORCED to do so. You heard me right. I was FORCED to. To make promises that I felt like I cannot really do it. And I felt freaking bad after that, and felt the shoulders are three times heavier than usual. And after all those nonsense, I was assumed to be yeah-I-am-ok-with-it-haha-like. Screw the asses, I am not! I don’t understand why a 22 year old guy that is only 6 months into this so called working life and start earning money have to make promises to in-laws that he will take care of the whole big family. This might not look like a big thing to you, but IT IS for me! I have doubts, OK?! And I hate being forced to do so, and I am definitely pissed about it!! Not that I cannot do it but doesn’t it sounded like a burden, or should I say a task that is way to heavy for a “newcomer”? Can I even earn money just to have fun with my gf? What I am trying to say is I am still young and many things might happen any minute. Of course I WILL take care of the daughter (my gf), and of course I will give her the VERY BEST without even whining! But for me to actually take care of the whole in-law family, made promises?? Doesn’t it sounded like too heavy? Common!! I earn and my spending alone takes half of my salary. Of course I can afford taking care of my gf. I can eat 1.20MYR worth of breakfast, 2.50MYR worth of lunch and less than 7MYR dinner EVERYDAY just to support my gf. But in-laws? Is that a bit too harsh for me?! And you don’t even apologize for what you have done? I really hate you man! I won’t forgive you, you know that?!

Haish……I forgot what I want to blog actually. There is a whole lot more in my head, but I think it is stuck inside. So I will stop here for today. Will edit this blog again if I have to. Ha ha ha. Anyway, gf waiting for me and she is a bit bored already. xD Tata~